Well the last 4-5 days have been a bit rough, my throat got so sore I had to get on the morphine which really helped with the pain, still being hooked up to the drip literally 24/7 is a pain in the ass. Plus the stuff made me wretch quite a lot to start with which, considering I wasn't eating anything was uncomfortable. Still it was a bit of a relief for the Doctor's to come round and say "This is the worst of it now" rather than, "You'll feel worse tomorrow".
In the last few days however I've been feeling a lot better, my mouth never got sore but it did start getting full of mucus and feeling really dry, it was good to get on the morphine rather than waiting for painkiller pills every 3 hours. Plus now they put all my oral meds down the NG tube so I don't have to swallow any pills, something that was starting to get difficult.
I've got in to the schedule in isolation now so the days are going by pretty quickly, definately glad I have my laptop with me. I think the most frustrating thing really is how much effort it takes to do even the simplest of things. To get up and do anything I've got to unplug all of the pumps I'm connected to, drag that around with me in a pretty small room. Still I'm pretty used to it now.
I woke up this morning and my throat felt a lot better than it did yesterday, hardly any pain at all. I'm still not eating a great deal but with the overnight feeds still going on thats not too much of a problem.
So hopefully it'l only be another week or so and I'll be out and back home. There is something that's bothering me though, I feel like I've lost some of that sense of urgency about the whole thing, like I've become a little to laid back when really there's still a long way to go and a lot of stuff that could happen. I've had so many big plans that I want to realise when I'm better, I don't want to get lazy and have them fall by the wayside. I don't want to just live off the benefits I get and lose that ambition to achieve the things I want to, I feel so out of touch with my work and I've no idea how I'm going to start getting fit again. I've really got to keep focused and make sure I don't let this slip, I know it sounds a bit wanky but when you're given a real appreciation of how important it is to live your life you don't want to lose that.
